I was angry with God when the screening test results came back as ‘no clear response’ from Jermiah-Lee Moses’ hearing test. I was so distraught that I pleaded for it to be repeated, the second result was the same as the first; ‘no clear response’.
I was hurt and frustrated. All the prayers I’d prayed during my pregnancy, covering my son from the longest hair on his head to the longest toenail on his feet. I prayed fervently, I prayed for his sight, his hearing, his brain, his heart; literally every inch of his body I placed before the Lord.
The disappointment was real and it hurt. But then I read something that caused me to pause. It was a friends Facebook post and I know I was supposed to read it and that time.
To Expect That Our Prayers Will Always Be Answered in Just the Way We Want Is Presumption—The prayer of faith is never lost; but to claim that it will be always answered in the very way and for the particular thing we have expected, is presumption. (Testimonies for the Church 1:231.) Pr 260.3
When our prayers seem not to be answered, we are to cling to the promise; for the time of answering will surely come, and we shall receive the blessing we need most. But to claim that prayer will always be answered in the very way and for the particular thing that we desire, is presumption. God is too wise to err, and too good to withhold any good thing from them that walk uprightly. Then do not fear to trust Him, even though you do not see the immediate answer to your prayers. Rely upon His sure promise, “Ask, and it shall be given you.”(Steps to Christ, 96.)
After reading it I recognised that my prayers were presumptuous. I automatically believed that God would answer every single one as I had placed them before Him. I didn’t stop to think that maybe, just maybe what we were experiencing with Jermiah was for God’s glory.
Perhaps Jermiah was supposed to be blind and deaf for a specific reason. Perhaps he would use this situation to showcase His power through our son. Yet, having read that still didn’t deter me from praying and asking God to reverse the hearing test result and enable my son to hear. I just wanted him to be able to hear. It would make all the difference in the world for his life experience and ours. We accepted that he was born without eyes, but just couldn’t accept that he was deaf too. In fact, I refused to believe it and so I started singing, having regular song time, nappy changing songs and playing music to Jermiah-Lee in the faith that God would change things and give him hearing. I didn’t want to be presumptuous but I had to be faithful. In fact, I’m still a little unclear about the difference between faith and presumption in prayer.
But, I spoke it out into the universe and believed with every part of me that Jermiah-Lee Moses was able to hear.
I started to observe him jumping to loud sounds and crying whenever child #5 was crying. If this was a coincidence then so be it but, I was confident that his hearing had been restored.
I refused to accept that Jermiah-Lee Moses was deaf as well as blind. I believed the time of blessing had come. My prayers of faith, without presumption had been answered.
We received a letter for an appointment at our local hospital for an audiology test. It explained that the test would last approximately 90 minutes and would use a series of tests to analyse Jermiah’s hearing. I wasn’t anxious. We walked into a small sound proof room with a sink directly in front of us and to my right a computer and a large comfortable chair. The audiologist was very friendly and polite. In fact he was so easy going that he didn’t mind me eating my cheese and avocado sandwich during test and encouraged me to be comfortable.
Jermiah-Lee Moses needed to be asleep for the duration of the test and we would receive the results once it had been completed. We were asked at the outset what our thoughts were about Jermiah-Lee’s hearing and both hubby and I agreed (in faith) that he could hear.
The test took a while, various headphones were connected to Jermiah-Lee’s ears and head and high frequency sounds at a low level were sent through. After about 60 minutes or so the audiologist got up and said the test was almost completed and he needed to grab an instrument that is used to test the vibrations in the ear. He said it would be like having a puff of air blown into ear. I likened it to having puffs of air blown into my eyes at the opticians which he agreed was a similar thing.
It was only when he concluded that the test was over that I felt anxiety creep over my entire body. I held my breath in waiting for the results. I tried to analyse his tone of voice and body language to see if that gave away anything but I just couldn’t read him.
He looked at hubby and then at me and said, well, the test is complete and I can confirm that Jermiah can hear. The results show he has normal hearing in his left ear and congested hearing in his right ear, meaning that it is muffled, a bit like being under water. However, this should all clear up as he gets older and we’ll bring you back in for testing in a few months time. He won’t require hearing aids and all looks good.
All I could do was thank God. I questioned the audiologist and asked why and how did both initial screening tests come back as no sound detected. He was unable to give a clear answer and suggested that at the time perhaps Jermiah couldn’t hear and maybe both ears were congested due to him being on breathing support after birth. But none of that mattered now, we had received confirmation that our God heard our cries, ‘our God hears’ He heard our prayers and answered. He saw our need and although He didn’t answer in the way we expected, He still answered at His appointed time.
We are so happy that Jermiah-Lee Moses continues to astound us daily. He is feeding well and gaining weight. We were told that he’s never eat normally, well, he is breast feeding now as well as tube feeding. We don’t know how our journey will end, but we are faithful and confident that our little boy is a precious gift from God. Despite his Trisomy 13 and Anophthalmia diagnosis, he is beating the odds and proving that he certainly is ‘Compatible with life’.
My hope and prayer is that others are inspired by this journey. That no matter what life challenges you are faced with, you can have faith in God. He doesn’t always answer in the way we expect Him to but He is with us to carry us through no matter what. He journeys with us. My faith has been increased through Jermiah-Lee Moses. According to the stats he shouldn’t be here and should have died in utero, or in child birth or shortly after birth. According to the stats he should die around 2 months of age or 1 year at the very most. So far he has beaten many of the predictions and is fighting for his life daily.
We are so blessed to have him and it is my pleasure to share him with you reading this in the hope you are encouraged.
I also want to raise awareness for Trisomy 13; Patau Syndrome and let families know that you have another option other than termination. It is a scary road as we don’t know what to expect, but I’d never trade the time we have with Jermiah-Lee Moses for anything. I’m glad he is here with us. He is our miracle boy and he has changed my life forever.